amsi

1

Je suis ce que je suis et si je suis ce que je suis, qu'est-ce que je suis?

2

I saw Susie sitting in a shoe shine shop.Where she sits she shines, and where she shines she sits.

3
How many boardsCould the Mongols hoardIf theongol hordes got bored?

4
How can a clam cram in a clean cream can?

5
Send toast to ten tense stout saints' ten tall tents.
by Raymond Weisling

6
Denise sees the fleece,Denise sees the fleas.At least Denise could sneezeand feed and freeze the fleas.
7
Coy knows pseudonoise codes.
by Pierre Abbat
8
Sheena leads, Sheila needs.
9
The thirty-three thieves thought that they thrilled the throne throughout Thursday.
10
Something in a thirty-acre thermal thicket of thorns and thistles thumped and thundered threatening the three-D thoughts of Matthew the thug - although, theatrically, it was only the thirteen-thousand thistles and thorns through the underneath of his thigh that the thirty year old thug thought of that morning.
by Meaghan Desbiens
11
Can you can a can as a canner can can a can?
12
Seth at Sainsbury's sells thick socks.
13
You cuss, I cuss, we all cuss, for asparagus!
from a Far Side cartoon by Gary Larson
14
Roberta ran rings around the Roman ruins.
15
Clean clams crammed in clean cans.
16
Six sick hicks nick six slick bricks with picks and sticks.
17
I wish to wish the wish you wish to wish, but if you wish the wish the witch wishes, I won't wish the wish you wish to wish.
18
Stupid superstition!
19
There was a fisherman named Fisherwho fished for some fish in a fissure.Till a fish with a grin,pulled the fisherman in.Now they're fishing the fissure for Fisher.
20
World Wide Web
21
To sit in solemn silence in a dull, dark dock,In a pestilential prison, with a life-long lock,Awaiting the sensation of a short, sharp shock,From a cheap and chippy chopper on a big black block!To sit in solemn silence in a dull, dark dock,In a pestilential prison, with a life-long lock,Awaiting the sensation of a short, sharp shock,From a cheap and chippy chopper on a big black block!A dull, dark dock, a life-long lock,A short, sharp shock, a big black block!To sit in solemn silence in a pestilential prison,And awaiting the sensationFrom a cheap and chippy chopper on a big black block!
by W.S. Gilbert of Gilbert and Sullivan from The Mikado
22
Picky people pick Peter Pan Peanut-Butter, 'tis the peanut-butter picky people pick.
from a commercial
23
If Stu chews shoes, should Stu choose the shoes he chews?
24
Luke's duck likes lakes. Luke Luck licks lakes. Luke's duck licks lakes. Duck takes licks in lakes Luke Luck likes. Luke Luck takes licks in lakes duck likes.
from Dr. Seuss' Fox in Socks
25
Seventy seven benevolent elephants
harder than it seems
26
There those thousand thinkers were thinking how did the other three thieves go through.
27
Santa's Short Suit Shrunk
name of a children's book
28
I was born on a pirate ship
Hold your tounge while saying it.
29
I scream, you scream, we all scream for icecream!
30
Wayne went to Wales to watch walruses.
31
In 'ertford, 'ereford and 'ampshire, 'urricanes 'ardly Hever 'appen.
from the film "My Fair Lady"
32
One-one was a race horse.Two-two was one too.One-one won one race.Two-two won one too.
33
Eleven benevolent elephants
34
Celibate celebrant, celibate celebrant, celibate celebrant, ...
35
Willy's real rear wheel
David Bowser in Harrisburg, PA
36
If Pickford's packers packed a packet of crisps would the packet of crisps that Pickford's packers packed survive for two and a half years?
from Naomi Fletcher's real life
37
Six sleek swans swam swiftly southwards
38
Gobbling gorgoyles gobbled gobbling goblins.
39
Did Dick Pickens prick his pinkie pickling cheap cling peaches in an inch of Pinch or framing his famed French finch photos?
40
Pirates Private Property
41
What a terrible tongue twister,what a terrible tongue twister,what a terrible tongue twister...
42
When you write copy you have the right to copyright the copy you write. ...continued here
43
A big black bug bit a big black dog on his big black nose!
by Kitty Morrow
44
Elizabeth's birthday is on the third Thursday of this month.
45
Ann and Andy's anniversary is in April.
46
Flash message!
47
Frogfeet, flippers, swimfins.
48
Hassock hassock, black spotted hassock. Black spot on a black back of a black spotted hassock.
49
How many cookies could a good cook cook If a good cook could cook cookies? A good cook could cook as much cookies as a good cook who could cook cookies.
50
How much ground would a groundhog hog, if a groundhog could hog ground? A groundhog would hog all the ground he could hog, if a groundhog could hog ground.
51
How much pot, could a pot roast roast, if a pot roast could roast pot.
52
How much wood could Chuck Woods' woodchuck chuck, if Chuck Woods' woodchuck could and would chuck wood? If Chuck Woods' woodchuck could and would chuck wood, how much wood could and would Chuck Woods' woodchuck chuck? Chuck Woods' woodchuck would chuck, he would, as much as he could, and chuck as much wood as any woodchuck would, if a woodchuck could and would chuck wood.
53
Mary Mac's mother's making Mary Mac marry me.My mother's making me marry Mary Mac.Will I always be so Merry when Mary's taking care of me?Will I always be so merry when I marry Mary Mac?
from a song by Carbon Leaf
54
Mr. Tongue Twister tried to train his tongue to twist and turn, and twit an twat, to learn the letter "T".
55
Pete's pa pete poked to the pea patch to pick a peck of peas for the poor pink pig in the pine hole pig-pen.
56
She saw Sherif's shoes on the sofa. But was she so sure she saw Sherif's shoes on the sofa?
57
Through three cheese trees three free fleas flew.While these fleas flew, freezy breeze blew.Freezy breeze made these three trees freeze.Freezy trees made these trees' cheese freeze.That's what made these three free fleas sneeze.
from Fox in Sox by Dr. Seuss
58
Two tried and true tridents
59
rudder valve reversals
the cause of some plane crashes
60
Birdie birdie in the sky laid a turdie in my eye.If cows could fly I'd have a cow pie in my eye.
61
How many cans can a cannibal nibbleif a cannibal can nibble cans?As many cans as a cannibal can nibbleif a cannibal can nibble cans.
62
A twister of twists once twisted a twist;A twist that he twisted was a three-twisted twist;If in twisting a twist one twist should untwist,The untwisted twist would untwist the twist.
63
Thirty-three thirsty, thundering thoroughbreds thumped Mr. Thurber on Thursday.
64
Four furious friends fought for the phone.
65
Plymouth sleuths thwart Luther's slithering.
66
Bobby Bippy bought a bat.Bobby Bippy bought a ball.With his bat Bob banged the ballBanged it bump against the wallBut so boldly Bobby banged itThat he burst his rubber ball"Boo!" cried BobbyBad luck ballBad luck Bobby, bad luck ballNow to drown his many troublesBobby Bippy's blowing bubbles.
from mid-Willamette Valley theater
67
Black background, brown background.
68
Why do you cry, Willy?Why do you cry?Why, Willy?Why, Willy?Why, Willy? Why?
69
Very well, very well, very well ...
70
Tie twine to three tree twigs.
71
Rory the warrior and Roger the worrier were reared wrongly in a rural brewery.
72
Mares eat oats and does eat oats,and little lambs eat ivy.A Kid will eat ivy too, wouldn't you?
73
Three short sword sheaths.
74
Caution: Wide Right Turns
seen on semi-tractor trailers
75
Rolling red wagons
76
Green glass globes glow greenly.
77
Robert Wayne Rutter
personal name
78
I stood sadly on the silver steps of Burgess's fish sauce shop, mimicking him hiccuping, and wildly welcoming him within.
79
When I was in Arkansas I saw a saw that could outsaw any other saw I ever saw, saw. If you've got a saw that can outsaw the saw I saw saw then I'd like to see your saw saw.
80
black back bat
81
The queen in green screamed.
82
How many berries could a bare berry carry,if a bare berry could carry berries?Well they can't carry berries(which could make you very wary)but a bare berry carried is more scary!
83
What did you have for breakfast?- rubber balls and liquor!What did you have for lunch?- rubber balls and liquor!What did you have for dinner?- rubber balls and liquor!What do you do when your sister comes home?- rubber balls and liquor!
84
Snap Crackel pop,Snap Crackel pop,Snap Crackel pop
85
Six slimy snails sailed silently.
86
I thought, I thought of thinking of thanking you.
87
Seven slick slimey snakes slowly sliding southward.
88
Red Buick, blue Buick
89
Roofs of mushrooms rarely mush too much.
by Matt Duchnowski
90
He threw three balls.
91
The great Greek grape growers grow great Greek grapes.
92
Singing Sammy sung songs on sinking sand.
93
We're real rear wheels.
94
Rhys watched Ross switch his Irish wristwatch for a Swiss wristwatch.
95
I wish to wash my Irish wristwatch.
96
Near an ear, a nearer ear, a nearly eerie ear.
97
On a lazy laser raiser lies a laser ray eraser.
98
Scissors sizzle, thistles sizzle.
99
Tom threw Tim three thumbtacks.
100
How much caramel can a canny canonball cram in a camel if a canny canonball can cram caramel in a camel?
101
He threw three free throws.
102
Fresh French fried fly fritters
103
Gig whip, gig whip, gig whip, ...
104
I was born on a pirate ship.
Say it while holding your tongue.
105
2 Y's U R.2 Y's U B.I C U R.2 Y's 4 me!
106
Little Mike left his bike like Tike at Spike's.
107
Eddie edited it.
108
Yellow butter, purple jelly, red jam, black bread.Spread it thick, say it quick!Yellow butter, purple jelly, red jam, black bread.Spread it thicker, say it quicker!Yellow butter, purple jelly, red jam, black bread.Don't eat with your mouth full!
109
Wow, race winners really want red wine right away!
110
The ruddy widow really wants ripe watermelon and red roses when winter arrives.
111
I'll chew and chew until my jaws drop.
112
Triple Dickle
a strong drink
113
How many sheets could a sheet slitter slit if a sheet slitter could slit sheets?
114
Supposed to be pistachio,supposed to be pistachio,supposed to be pistachio.
by Diane Estep
115
Chester Cheetah chews a chunk of cheep cheddar cheese.
from a high school singing class
116
Real rock wall, real rock wall, real rock wall
117
Argyle Gargoyle
118
Peggy Babcock
personal name
119
If you're keen on stunning kites and cunning stunts,buy a cunning stunning stunt kite.
120
Two tiny tigers take two taxis to town.
121
Sounding by sound is a sound method of sounding sounds.
by Pierre Abbat
122
Willie's really weary.
123
Yally Bally had a jolly golliwog. Feeling folly, Yally Bally Bought his jolly golli' a dollie made of holly! The golli', feeling jolly, named the holly dollie, Polly. So Yally Bally's jolly golli's holly dollie Polly's also jolly!
by Mistah Twistah, Tony Valuch
124
Out in the pasture the nature watcher watches the catcher. While the catcher watches the pitcher who pitches the balls. Whether the temperature's up or whether the temperature's down, the nature watcher, the catcher and the pitcher are always around. The pitcher pitches, the catcher catches and the watcher watches. So whether the temperature's rises or whether the temperature falls the nature watcher just watches the catcher who's watching the pitcher who's watching the balls.
by Sharon Johnson
125
Tommy Tucker tried to tie Tammy's Turtles tie.
126
John, where Peter had had "had had", had had "had";"had had" had had his master's approval.
127
Excited executioner exercising his excising powers excessively.
128
Pail of ale aiding ailing Al's travails.
from India
129
Double bubble gum, bubbles double.
130
If you can't can any candy can,how many candy cans can a candy canner canif he can can candy cans ?
131
Octopus ocular optics.andA cat snaps a rat's paxwax.
by Pierre Abbat
132
This is the sixth zebra snoozing thoroughly.
133
Salty broccoli, salty broccoli, salty broccoli ....
134
I saw Esau kissing Kate.I saw Esau, he saw me, and she saw I saw Esau.
135
A slimey snake slithered down the sandy sahara.
136
Suzie Seaword's fish-sauce shop sells unsifted thistles for thistle-sifters to sift.
137
I eat eel while you peel eel
138
Nothing is worth thousands of deaths.
139
Casual clothes are provisional for leisurely trips across Asia.
140
East Fife Four, Forfar Five
an actual football result from the Scottish third division
141
Roy WayneRoy RogersRoy Rash
personal names
142
11 was a racehorse,22 was 12,1111 race,22112.
Wunwun was a racehorse, Tutu was one too. Wunwun won one race, Tutu won one too.
143
It's not the cough that carries you off,it's the coffin they carry you off in!
144
She said she should sit.
145
Mo mi mo me send me a toe,Me me mo mi get me a mole,Mo mi mo me send me a toe,Fe me mo mi get me a mole,Mister kister feet so sweet,Mister kister where will I eat !?
146
Will you, William? Will you, William? Will you, William?Can't you, don't you, won't you, William?
147
I wish you were a fish in my dish
148
She stood on the balcony, inexplicably mimicking him hiccuping, and amicably welcoming him in.
an actor's vocal warmup for lips and tongue
149
The big black bug bit the big black bear,but the big black bear bit the big black bug back!
150
Dust is a disk's worst enemy.
151
I see a sea down by the seashore.But which sea do you see down by the seashore?
152
Old Mr. Hunthad a cuddy puntNot a cuddy puntbut a hunt punt cuddy.
153
As one black bug, bled blue, black blood. The other black bug bled blue.
154
Mommy made me eat my M&Ms.
155
I'm not the fig plucker,Nor the fig plucker's son,but I'll pluck your figstill the fig plucker comes.
156
A gazillion gigantic grapes gushedgradually giving gophers gooey guts.
157
Aluminum, linoleum, molybdenum, aluminum, linoleum, molybdenum, aluminum, linoleum, molybdenum
158
Thin grippy thick slippery.
159
There once was a two toed, she toad, tree toad,and a three toed, he toad, tree toad....
160
The owner of the inside inn was inside his inside inn with his inside outside his inside inn.
161
If you notice this notice,you will notice that this notice is not worth noticing.
162
If you understand, say "understand".If you don't understand, say "don't understand".But if you understand and say "don't understand".how do I understand that you understand. Understand!?
163
She sees cheese.
164
Brent Spence BridgeClay Wade Bailey Bridge
places in Ohio
165
Chukotko-Kamchatkan
pertaining to the Siberian people living in Kamchatka
166
There those thousand thinkers were thinking where did those other three thieves go through.
167
Five frantic frogs fled from fifty fierce fishes.
168
One smart fellow, he felt smart.Two smart fellows, they felt smart.Three smart fellows, they felt smart.Four smart fellows, they felt smart.Five smart fellows, they felt smart.Six smart fellows, they felt smart.
169
Seven sleazy shysters in sharkskin suits sold sheared sealskins to seasick sailors.
170
I would if I could! But I can't, so I won't!
171
But a harder thing still to do.
What a to do to die todayAt a quarter or two to two.A terrible difficult thing to sayBut a harder thing still to do.The dragon will come at the beat of the drumWith a rat-a-tat-tat a-tat-tat a-tat-toAt a quarter or two to two today,At a quarter or two to two.
from a college drama class
172
Love's a feeling you feel when you feelyou're going to feel the feeling you've never felt before.
173
Silly sheep weep and sleep.
174
Truly rural, truly rural, truly rural, ...
175
A turbot's not a burbot, for a turbot's a butt, but a burbot's not.
176
I know a boy named Tatewho dined with his girl at eight eight.I'm unable to state what Tate ate at eight eightor what Tate's tête à tête ate at eight eight.
177
I saw a saw in Arkansas,that would outsaw any saw I ever saw,and if you got a sawthat will outsaw the saw I saw in Arkansaslet me see your saw.
178
The seething sea ceaseth; thus the seething sea sufficeth us.
179
Real weird rear wheels
by Michael Dworkin and Bill Harvey
180
I slit a sheet, a sheet I slit, upon a slitted sheet I sit.
181
A pessimistic pest exists amidst us.
182
Knife and a fork bottle and a corkthat is the way you spell New York.
Chicken in the car and the car can go,that is the way you spell Chicago.
183
Five fuzzy French frogs Frolicked through the fields in France.
184
Two to two to Toulouse?
185
Swatch watch
186
Dr. Johnson and Mr. Johnson, after great consideration, came to the conclusion that the Indian nation beyond the Indian Ocean is back in education because the chief occupation is cultivation.
187
Round and round the rugged rock the ragged rascal ran.
188
Buckets of bug blood, buckets of bug blood, buckets of bug blood
189
I'm a sock cutter and I cut socks.I'm a sock cutter and I cut socks.I'm a sock cutter and I cut socks.
190
If coloured caterpillars could change their colours constantly could they keep their coloured coat coloured properly?
191
We won, we won, we won, we won, ...
192
Thirty-three thousand people think that Thursday is their thirtieth birthday.
by Julia Dicum
193
How much ground could a grounghog grind if a groundhog could grind ground?
194
How may saws could a see-saw saw if a see-saw could saw saws?
by Jillian Goetz
195
As he gobbled the cakes on his plate,the greedy ape said as he ate,the greener green grapes are,the keener keen apes areto gobble green grape cakes,they're great!
from Dr. Seuss's O Say Can You Say?
196
How much myrtle would a wood turtle hurdle if a wood turtle could hurdle myrtle?A wood turtle would hurdle as much myrtle as a wood turtle could hurdle if a wood turtle could hurdle myrtle.
197
Shut up the shutters and sit in the shop.
198
Rattle your bottles in Rollocks' van.
199
A fly and flea flew into a flue,said the fly to the flea 'what shall we do?''let us fly' said the fleasaid the fly 'shall we flee'so they flew through a flaw in the flue.
200
How much dew does a dewdrop dropIf dewdrops do drop dew?They do drop, they doAs do dewdrops dropIf dewdrops do drop dew.
201
If Kantie can tie a tie and untie a tie,why can't I tie a tie and untie a tie like Kantie can.
202
Bake big batches of bitter brown bread.
203
But she as far surpasseth Sycorax,As great'st does least.
Caliban describing Miranda's beauty in "The Tempest", by William Shakespeare
204
Bake big batches of brown blueberry bread.
205
She sits in her slip and sips Schlitz.
206
Which wristwatch is a Swiss wristwatch?
207
Whoever slit the sheets is a good sheet slitter.
208
Mummies make money.
209
Crush grapes, grapes crush, crush grapes.
210
An elephant was asphyxiated in the asphalt.
211
A black bloke's back brake-block broke.
212
This is a zither.
213
Fresh fried fish,Fish fresh fried,Fried fish fresh,Fish fried fresh.
214
There was a minimum of cinnamon in the aluminum pan.
215
Really leery, rarely Larry.
216
Big black bugs bleed blue black blood but baby black bugs bleed blue blood.
217
Elizabeth has eleven elves in her elm tree.
218
Her whole right hand really hurts.
difficult in Brazil
219
Come, come,Stay calm, stay calm,No need for alarm,It only hums,It doesn't harm.
220
Tie a knot, tie a knot.Tie a tight, tight knot.Tie a knot in the shape of a nought.
221
Red blood, green blood
222
I'm a sheet slitter.I slit sheets.I'm the sleekest sheet slitterthat ever slit sheets.
223
Round the rugged rock, the ragged rascal ran.
224
Busy buzzing bumble bees.
225
A lump of red leather, a red leather lump
226
Nat the bat swat at Matt the gnat.
227
I shot the city sheriff.I shot the city sheriff.I shot the city sheriff.
228
A lady sees a pot-mender at work at his barrow in the street."Are you copper-bottoming them, my man?""No, I'm aluminiuming 'em, Mum
229
I am not a pheasant plucker,I'm a pheasant plucker's sonbut I'll be plucking pheasantsWhen the pheasant plucker's gone.
230
Suzie, Suzie, working in a shoeshine shop.All day long she sits and shines,all day long she shines and sits,and sits and shines, and shines and sits,and sits and shines, and shines and sits.Suzie, Suzie, working in a shoeshine shop.
Tommy, Tommy, toiling in a tailor's shop.All day long he fits and tucks,all day long he tucks and fits,and fits and tucks, and tucks and fits,and fits and tucks, and tucks and fits.Tommy, Tommy, toiling in a tailor's shop.
sung by Ian Mackintosh
231
Preshrunk silk shirts.
232
Craig Quinn's quick trip to Crabtree Creek.
233
Six shining cities, six shining cities, six shining cities.
234
While we were walking, we were watching window washers wash Washington's windows with warm washing water.
235
A big black bear sat on a big black bug.
236
A bloke's bike back brake block broke.
237
Sweet sagacious Sally Sanders said she sure saw seven segregated seaplanes sailing swiftly southward Saturday.
238
Betty Botter bought some butter but she said the butter's bitter. If I put it in my batter it will make my batter bitter. So, she bought some better butter, better than the bitter butter and she put it in her batter and her batter was not bitter. So 'twas good that Betty Botter bought some better butter.
239
How much oil boil can a gum boil boil if a gum boil can boil oil?
240
Good blood, bad blood, good blood, bad blood, good blood, bad blood.
241
No nose knows like a gnome's nose knows.
by the Hofman family
242
Freshly fried fresh flesh
243
There are two minutes difference from four to two to two to two, from two to two to two, too.
244
There once was a man who had a sister, his name was Mr. Fister. Mr. Fister's sister sold sea shells by the sea shore. Mr. Fister didn't sell sea shells, he sold silk sheets. Mr. Fister told his sister that he sold six silk sheets to six shieks. The sister of Mr. Fister said I sold six shells to six shieks too!
245
Sally sells sea shells by the sea shore. But if Sally sells sea shells by the sea shore then where are the sea shells Sally sells?
246
She stood on the steps of Burgess's Fish Sauce Shop, mimicking him hiccuping and amicably welcoming him in.
247
Swan swam over the sea.Swim, swan, swim!Swan swam back again.Well swum swan!
248
Sally is a sheet slitter, she slits sheets.
249
She sells sea shells on the sea shore;The shells that she sells are sea shells I'm sure.So if she sells sea shells on the sea shore,I'm sure that the shells are sea shore shells.
250
You know New York.You need New York.You know you need unique New York.
251
What noise annoys an oyster most?A noisy noise annoys an oyster most.
252
Ripe white wheat reapers reap ripe white wheat right.
253
Blake's black bike's back brake bracket block broke.
254
Each Easter Eddie eats eighty Easter eggs.
255
She slits the sheet she sits on.
256
A rough-coated, dough-faced, thoughtful ploughman strode through the streets of Scarborough; after falling into a slough, he coughed and hiccoughed.
257
A twister of twists once twisted a twist.and the twist that he twisted was a three twisted twist.now in twisting this twist, if a twist should untwist,would the twist that untwisted untwist the twists.
258
Red lolly, yellow lolly.
259
I am a mother pheasant plucker,I pluck mother pheasants.I am the best mother pheasant plucker,that ever plucked a mother pheasant!
260
Mrs Hunt had a country cut frontin the front of her country cut pettycoat.
261
Knapsack strap.
262
John, where Molly had had "had", had had "had had". "Had had " had had the teachers approval
263
Miss Smith's fish-sauce shop seldom sells shellfish.
264
Great gray goats
265
Whether the weather be fineor whether the weather be not.Whether the weather be coldor whether the weather be hot.We'll weather the weatherwhether we like it or not.
266
Sunshine city, sunshine city, sunshine city, ...
267
The batter with the butter is the batter that is better!
268
There's a sandwich on the sand which was sent by a sane witch.
269
How many yaks could a yak pack pack if a yak pack could pack yaks?
270
Twelve twins twirled twelve twigs.
271
If you stick a stock of liquor in your lockerit is slick to stick a lock upon your stockor some joker who is slickeris going to trick you of your liquorif you fail to lock your liquor with a lock.
272
Clowns grow glowing crowns.
273
Can you imagine an imaginary menagerie managerimagining managing an imaginary menagerie?
274
Sister Suzie sewing shirts for soldiersSuch skill as sewing shirtsOur shy young sister Suzie showsSome soldiers send epistlesSay they'd rather sleep in thistlesThan the saucy, soft short shirts for soldiers Sister Suzie sews.
275
Red leather, yellow leather, ...
276
IF IF = THEN THEN THEN = ELSE ELSE ELSE = IF;
programming language PL/I by Bruce Walker
277
Announcement at Victoria Station, London:Two to two to Tooting too!
278
Richard's wretched ratchet wrench.
279
Rugged rubber baby buggy bumpers.
280
Betty Botter bought some butter but, said she, the butter's bitter.If I put it in my batter, it will make my batter bitter.But a bit of better butter will make my bitter batter better.So she bought some better butter, better than the bitter butter,put it in her bitter batter, made her bitter batter better.So 'twas better Betty Botter bought some better butter.
281
A box of biscuits,a box of mixed biscuits,and a biscuit mixer.
282
When a doctor doctors a doctor,does the doctor doing the doctoringdoctor as the doctor being doctored wants to be doctored ordoes the doctor doing the doctoring doctor as he wants to doctor?
283
What to do to die today at a minute or two to two. A terribly difficult thing to say and a harder thing to do. A dragon will come and beat his drum Ra-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-too at a minute or two to two today. At a minute or two to two.
Who is the author?
284
If two witches would watch two watches, which witch would watch which watch?
285
The soldier's shoulder surely hurts!
286
She sees seas slapping shores.
287
A loyal warrior will rarely worry why we rule.
by Ray Weisling
288
Greek grapes.
289
Mr. See owned a saw and Mr Soar owned a seesaw.Now See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw before Soar saw See.
290
Six sick sea-serpents swam the seven seas.
291
There was a little witch which switched from Chichester to Ipswich.
292
A proper cup of coffee from a proper copper coffee pot.
293
Never trouble about trouble until trouble troubles you!
294
Theophilus Thadeus Thistledown, the succesful thistle-sifter, while sifting a sieve-full of unsifted thistles, thrust three thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb. Now, if Theophilus Thadeus Thistledown, the succesful thistle-sifter, thrust three thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb, see that thou, while sifting a sieve-full of unsifted thistles, thrust not three thousand thistles through the thick of thy thumb.
295
Shoe section, shoe section, shoe section, ...
296
A smart fella, a fella smart.It takes a smart fella to say a fella smart.
297
She is a thistle-sifter. She has a sieve of unsifted thistles and a sieve of sifted thistles and the sieve of unsifted thistles she sifts into the sieve of sifted thistles because she is a thistle-sifter.
298
Admidst the mists and coldest frosts,With stoutest wrists and loudest boasts,He thrusts his fists against the posts,And still insists he sees the ghosts.
299
Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear,Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair,Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy,was he?
300
Blue glue gun, green glue gun.
301
Betty bought some butter,but the butter Betty bought was bitter,so Betty bought some better butter,and the better butter Betty boughtwas better than the bitter butter Betty bought before!
302
Toy boat, toy boat, toy boat, ...
303
Mallory's hourly salary.
304
I slit a sheet, a sheet I slit, and on that slitted sheet I sit.
305
Don't spring on the inner-spring this spring or there will be an offspring next spring.
306
A flea and a fly in a flue,were imprisoned. So what could they do?Said the fly, "Let us flee".Said the flea, "Let us fly".So they flew through a flaw in the flue.
307
King Thistle stuck a thousand thistles in the thistle of his thumb.A thousand thistles King Thistle stuck in the thistle of his thumb.If King Thistle stuck a thousand thistles in the thistle of his thumb,How many thistles did King Thistle stick in the thistle of his thumb?
308
Five fat friars frying flat fish.
309
The bottle of perfume that Willy sentwas highly displeasing to Millicent.Her thanks were so coldthat they quarreled, I'm toldo'er that silly scent Willy sent Millicent
310
Esau Wood sawed wood. All the wood Esau Wood saw, Esau Wood would saw. All the wood Wood saw, Esau sought to saw. One day Esau Wood's wood-saw would saw no wood. So Esau Wood sought a new wood-saw. The new wood-saw would saw wood. Oh, the wood Esau Wood would saw. Esau sought a saw that would saw wood as no other wood-saw would saw. And Esau found a saw that would saw as no other wood-saw would saw. And Esau Wood sawed wood.
311
Betty bought some bitter butterand it made her batter bitter,so Betty bought some better butterto make her bitter batter better.
312
A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk,but the stump thunk the skunk stunk.
313
I'm not the fig plucker,nor the fig pluckers' son,but I'll pluck figsTill the fig plucker comes.
314
Extinct insects' instincts, extant insects' instincts.
by Pierre Abbat
315
Sweater weather, leather weather.
316
One black beetle bled only black blood, the other black beetle bled blue.
317
The big black bug's blood ran blue.
318
I am not the pheasant plucker,I'm the pheasant plucker's mate.I am only plucking pheasants'cause the pheasant plucker's running late.
319
Ed Nott was shot and Sam Shott was not. So it is better to be Shott than Nott. Some say Nott was not shot. But Shott says he shot Nott. Either the shot Shott shot at Nott was not shot, or Nott was shot. If the shot Shott shot shot Nott, Nott was shot. But if the shot Shott shot shot Shott, the shot was Shott, not Nott. However, the shot Shott shot shot not Shott - but Nott. So, Ed Nott was shot and that's hot! Is it not?
320
We will learn why her lowly lone, worn yarn loom will rarely earn immoral money.
by Ray Weisling
321
Unique New York, unique New York, unique New York, ...
322
If Dr. Seuss Were a Technical Writer.....
Here's an easy game to play.Here's an easy thing to say:
If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort, Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!
If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,then your situation's hopeless, and your system's gonna crash!
You can't say this? What a shame, sir!We'll find you another game, sir.
If the label on the cable on the table at your house,Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss,So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,'Cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!
When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risk,Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to ram your rom.Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom!
from the Unix fortune database, attributed to DementDJ@ccip.perkin-elmer.com in the rec.humor.funny newsgroup
323
Picky people pick Peter Pan Peanut Butter.Peter Pan Peanut is the peanut picky people pick.
324
Ray Rag ran across a rough road.Across a rough road Ray Rag ran.Where is the rough road Ray Rag ran across?
325
Elmer Arnold
personal name
326
A Tudor who tooted the flutetried to tutor two tooters to toot.Said the two to the tutor,"Is it harder to toot orto tutor two tooters to toot?"
327
Mrs Puggy Wuggy has a square cut punt.Not a punt cut square,Just a square cut punt.It's round in the stern and blunt in the front.Mrs Puggy Wuggy has a square cut punt.
328
Tim, the thin twin tinsmith.
329
Thin sticks, thick bricks
330
Red lorry, yellow lorry.
331
A big black bug bit a big black bear and made the big black bear bleed blood.
332
How much wood would a woodchuck chuckif a wooodchuck could chuck wood?A woodchuck would chuck all the wooda woodchuck could chuckif a woodchuck could chuck wood.
333
Larry Hurley, a burly squirrel hurler, hurled a furry squirrel through a curly grill.
334
Six twin screwed steel steam cruisers.
335
A nurse anesthetist unearthed a nest.
336
I thought a thought.But the thought I thought wasn't the thought I thought I thought.If the thought I thought I thought had been the thought I thought,I wouldn't have thought so much.
337
She sells sea shells on the seashore.The seashells she sells are seashells she is sure.
338
From the programmer's desk:She sells cshs by the C shore.
339
A noise annoys an oyster, but a noisy noise annoys an oyster more!
340
Plain bun, plum bun, bun without plum.
341
There was a young man called Fisherwho was fishing for fish in a fissure.Then a cod with a grinpulled the fisherman in.Now they're searching the fissure for Fisher.
342
Slick slim slippers sliding south.
343
The Leith police dismisseth usThey thought we sought to stay; The Leith police dismisseth usThey thought we'd stay all day.The Leith police dismisseth us,We both sighed sighs apiece; And the sighs that we sighed as we said goodbyeWere the size of the Leith police.
344
Ah shucks, six stick shifts stuck shut!
345
Meter maid Mary married manly Matthew Marcus Mayo,a moody male mailman moving mostly metered mail.
346
The king would sing, about a ring that would go ding.
347
How much dough would Bob Dole doleif Bob Dole could dole dough?Bob Dole would dole as much doughas Bob Dole could dole,if Bob Dole could dole dough.
348
People pledging plenty of pennies.
349
Mares eat oats and does eat oats, but little lambs eat ivy.
from a pre-war English music-hall song
350
To begin to toboggan first, buy a toboggan.But do not buy too big a toboggan!Too big a toboggan is too big a toboggan to buy to begin to toboggan.
351
Courtney Dworkin
personal name
352
Switch watch, wrist watch.
353
Six thick thistle sticks
354
Black bug's blood
355
Moses supposes his toeses are roses,but Moses supposes erroneously.For Moses, he knowses his toeses aren't roses,as Moses supposes his toeses to be.
Donald O'Connor and Gene Kelly in "Singing in the rain
356
I wish I were what I was when I wished I were what I am.
357
She sells seashells on the seashore. The seashells she sells are seashore seashells.
358
Irish wristwatch
359
She had shoulder surgery.
360
To put a pipe in byte mode, type PIPE_TYPE_BYTE.
from the Visual C++ help file.
361
Three Tree Turtles
Three tree turtles took turns talking tongue twisters.If three tree turtles took turns talking tongue twisters,where's the twisters the three tree turtles talked?
362
My Friend Gladys
Oh, the sadness of her sadness when she's sad.Oh, the gladness of her gladness when she's glad.But the sadness of her sadness,and the gladness of her gladness,Are nothing like her madness when she's mad!
363
I would if I could, and if I couldn't, how could I?You couldn't, unless you could, could you?
common school kids nonsense, circa 1910
364
real rear wheel
365
Give me the gift of a grip-top sock,A clip drape shipshape tip top sock. Not your spinslick slapstick slipshod stock, But a plastic, elastic grip-top sock. None of your fantastic slack swap slopFrom a slap dash flash cash haberdash shop. Not a knick knack knitlock knockneed knickerbocker sockWith a mock-shot blob-mottled trick-ticker top clock. Not a supersheet seersucker rucksack sock, Not a spot-speckled frog-freckled cheap sheik's sockOff a hodge-podge moss-blotched scotch-botched block. Nothing slipshod drip drop flip flop or glip glopTip me to a tip top grip top sock.
articulation warmup for actors
366
National Sheepshire Sheep Association
367
The crow flew over the river with a lump of raw liver.
368
The little red lorry went down Limuru road.
Limuru (Lee-moo-roo) road is a the name of a road in Kenya.
369
Flies fly but a fly flies.
370
Did Doug dig Dick's garden or did Dick dig Doug's garden?
by Paul Davies
371
If a Hottentot taught a Hottentot tot to talk ere the tot could totter, ought the Hottentot tot be taught to say ought or naught or what ought to be taught 'er?
372
How many cans can a canner can if a canner can can cans? A canner can can as many cans as a canner can if a canner can can cans.
373
Federal Express is now called FedEx.When I retire I'll be a FedEx ex.But if I'm an officer when I retire, I'll be an ex Fedex Exec.Then after a divorce, my ex-wife will be an ex FedEx exec's ex.If I rejoin FedEx in time, I'd be an ex ex FedEx exec.When we remarry, my wife will be an ex ex FedEx exec's ex.
374
Which witch snitched the stitched switch for which the Swiss witch wished?
by Ann Clark
375
Does this shop sport short socks with spots?
376
Customer: Do you have soothers?Shopkeeper (thinking he had said "scissors"): No, we don't have scissors.Customer: Soothers!Shopkeeper : No, we don't have scissors or soothers.... scissors or soothers, scissors or soothers, scissors or soothers, ...
actual conversation in a shop in Canada, recorded by Don Monson
377
Tommy, Tommy, toiling in a tailor's shop.All day long he fits and tucks,all day long he tucks and fits,and fits and tucks, and tucks and fits,and fits and tucks, and tucks and fits.Tommy, Tommy, toiling in a tailor's shop.
378
No need to light a night light on a light night like tonight.
379
I wish to wish, I dream to dream, I try to try, and I live to live, and I'd die to die, and I cry to cry but I dont know why.
from a Song by Soundgarden named "Somewhere" composed and written by Ben Shepherd
380
My mommy makes me muffins on Mondays.
by Tim McCauley, age 8
381
A real rare whale.
382
Terry Teeter, a teeter-totter teacher, taught her daughter Tara to teeter-totter, but Tara Teeter didn't teeter-totter as Terry Teeter taught her to.
by Pierre Abbat
383
Ken Dodd's dad's dog 's dead.
384
I bought a bit of baking powder and baked a batch of biscuits. I brought a big basket of biscuits back to the bakery and baked a basket of big biscuits. Then I took the big basket of biscuits and the basket of big biscuits and mixed the big biscuits with the basket of biscuits that was next to the big basket and put a bunch of biscuits from the basket into a biscuit mixer and brought the basket of biscuits and the box of mixed biscuits and the biscuit mixer to the bakery and opened a tin of sardines.
Said to be a diction test for would-be radio announcers: To be read clearly, without mistakes, in less than 20 seconds (from Coronet Magazine, August 1948).
385
Kanta is a masai girl. She can tie a tie and untie a tie. If Kanta can tie a tie and untie a tie, why can't I tie a tie and untie a tie?
386
I'm a mother pheasant plucker.I pluck mother pheasants.I'm the pleasantest mother pheasant plucker,That ever plucked a mother pheasant.Actually, ...I'm Not the pheasant plucker,I'm the pheasant plucker's son.But I'll stay and pluck the pheasantsTill the pheasant plucking 's done!
387
If you go for a gopher a gopher will go for a gopher hole.
388
Seven slick and sexy sealskin ski suits slid slowly down the slope.
389
The chief of the Leith police dismisseth us.
390
Fred Threlfall's thirty-five fine threads are finer threads than Fred Threlfall's thirty-five thick threads.
by Anthony Nichols
391
Bug's black blood
392
Reed Wade Road
name of a road in Batesville Arkansas
393
Jack's nap sack strap snapped.
394
I saw Esau sitting on a seesaw. I saw Esau; he saw me.
395
A quick witted cricket critic.
396
Hitchcock Hawk Watch Spots Record Raptors
Title of an article in the Neola Gazette
397
Sure, sir, the ship's sure shipshape, sir.
398
The Smothers brothers' father's mother's brothers arethe Smothers brothers' mother's father's other brothers.
399
One Double Dozen Double Damask Dinner Napkins
Name of a sketch written by Dion Titheradge for a London musical revue and originally performed by Cicely Courtneidge in the early 1930's. The comedienne Bea Lillie performed the sketch in an American film starring Bing Crosby in 1938, and that film's name was "Doctor Rhythm". The sketch became famous and Lillie did perform it on numerous occasions on radio, as well as record it on two 78rpm records.
400
The cat crept into the crypt, crapped and crept out.
401
Dear mother,give your other udder to my other brother.
402
Blended baby blue bug's blood blotches.
made up watching bugs splatter on the windshield ... ugh!
403
So, this is the sushi chef?
Spoken to a friend in a Japanese restaurant on the chef’s return.
404
Betty Botter bought some butter, but the butter Betty Botter bought was bitter. So Betty Botter bought some better butter to make the bitter butter Betty Botter bought better. But instead of the better butter Betty Botter bought making the bitter butter Betty Botter bought better, the bitter butter Betty Botter bought made the better butter Betty Botter bought bitter!
405
Furnish Freddie's nursery with forty-four furry Furby Beanie Babies.
406
Arnold Palmer, Arnold Palmer, Arnold Palmer, ...
name of the famous American golfer
407
A bitter biting bittern bit a better biting bitternAnd the better biting bittern bit the bitter biting bittern back.Said the bitter biting bittern to the better biting bittern“I’m a bitter biting bittern bitten back”
408
Certified certificates from certified certificate certifiers.
409
Imagine, imagining imagining, an imaginary imaginary imaginary menagerie manager, imagining imagining imagining an imaginary imaginary imaginary managerie.
410
What noise annoys a noisy oyster?Any noise annoys a noisy oyster,but a noisy noise annoys a noisy oyster most!
411
We need a plan to fan a pan; find a pan to fan, then find a fan to fan the pan, then fan the pan.
Some Korean students find difficult to pronounce difference between 'f' and 'p'.
412
How many snacks could a snack stacker stack,if a snack stacker snacked stacked snacks?
by Christine Reynolds
413
Freddy is ready to roast red roaches.Ready for Freddy's roasted red roaches?
414
Who washed Washington's white woolen underwear when Washington's washer-woman went west?
415
On mules we find two legs behind and two we find before.We stand behind before we find what those behind be for.
416
Three grey geeseIn a green field grazing,Grey were the geeseAnd green was the grazing.
417
Susie sits shinning silver shoes
418
Ralph rakes leaves really, really lousily.
for Japanese students of English
419
Lady Luck dislikes losers.
for Japanese students of English
420
Broken back brake block
421
Mumbling, bumbling. Bumbling, mumbling.
422
Of all the felt I ever felt I never felt felt that felt like that felt felt.
423
They hatch fish at the state fish hatchery and sell hatched fish to the fish stick factory.
by Kevin Brown
424
In pine tar is. In oak none is. In mud eels are. In clay none is.
If read fast, it sounds like gibberish.
425
The sixth sick sheik's sixth sick sheep.
426
Thirty-six thick silk threads
427
Silly shoe-fly pie fans sell chilly shoe-fly pie pans.
428
Kantai can tie a tie. If Kantai can tie a tie,why can't I tie a tie like Kantai can tie a tie.
429
The two-toed tree toad tried to tread where the three-toed tree toad trod.
Too wise you are. Too wise you be. I see you are. Too wise for me!
Hard for PL/I compilers to understand. The key to understanding this is that there is no lexical distinction between keywords (IF, THEN, and ELSE) and variables, which can also be IF, THEN, and ELSE. Likewise, there is no lexical distinction between testing for equality ('=') and assignment ('='). So, this means: If the variable IF is equal to the variable THEN, assign the variable ELSE to the variable THEN, otherwise, assign the variable IF to the variable ELSE. As with many tongue twisters in natural languages, this is NOT good style.
Thanks
Carol , Dennis , Karen , Michelle , Pax , Shona , Pierre Abbat, Ashley Adams, Dan Albright, Ironman Anderson, Gillian and Nancy Autton, Margarita Baldemeca, Luke Ball, Nicole Ballou, Herb Bankston, Chris Barrett, Toby Bartels, Terry Baumber, April Beeba, Shawna Begay, Ginny Beier, Crystal Belk, David Bell, Owen Bell, Taylor Bellehumeur, Anibal Bertolla Jr., John Biddle, Melissa Binde, Ben Blanchard, Celia Bourreau, Caroline Bowen, David Bowser, Donnie Brass, Jan Bratcher, Christoph Brezinka, Sherry Briden, Kevin Brown, Brian Buckta, Kathy Budd, Wayne Butler, Emer Byrden, Wendy Callis, Carla Carcelli, Dominic Carroll, Nisha Carvalho, Peter Cassidy, John Chamberlain, Yun Cheng, Randal Chou, Ray Cleaver, David Clothier, Kira Cole, Kay Collins, Martin Connelly, Denis Conrady, Lynnette Conway, Jamal Cooper, Carol Copeland, Anya Corbitt, Dianne Cotton, Spencer Cox, Candis Cressall, Jennifer Criss, Frangois Crompton-Roberts, Madelyn Curtis, M. R. Dallal, Chels Dava, Paul Davies, Gabrielle Deland, Briana Delaney, H. L. Delgado, Ellie Depew, Meaghan Desbiens, Desai Dharini, Ursula Diaz, Julia Dicum, Sally Mileva Dime, Lesley Ann Dodd, Thane Doss, Mark Dowless, Jamie Dries, Dan Dryden, Matt Duchnowski, Valerie Duffy, George Duncan, Bill Eastridge, Thomas Echols, Harold Edwards, Georg Engel, Diane Estep, Marc Evans, Robert Evans, Don Fallick, Peggy Farnell, Tamara Fassett, Rebecca Fawcett, Dan Feldman, Saul Feldman, Cesar Fernandez, Naomi Fletcher, Peter Flynn, Barbara Fox, Nancy Franklin, Mike Fratto, J.D. Frazer, Harald Fueßl, Jessi Fullmer, Cynthia Galivan, Tom Gallagher, Nigel Garvey, Shakari Gault, Safiyah Ghazali, Rebekah Giles, Shirley Gill, Alexa Gillie, Dramonte Glass, Paul Godfrey, Jillian Goetz, Mark Goldin, Elizabeth Golding, Mike Gonser, Berny Goodhear, Ratnakar Gore, Julie Goswick, Heather Gray, Kuyler Gresham, Kris Griffiths, Nadas Grunt, Lauren Michelle Gusler, Marvin Haagsma, Rebecca Haaland, Julia Hacker, Muhammad Hafiz, Dave Hall, Marisa Hardy, Peter Harrison, Craig Harrop, Karl Hartman, Paul W. Hartnägel, Ashley Harvey, Max Hawla, Lucy Ann Hazelet, Andree Hein, John Hendrickson, Ryk Herrmann, Brenda Kay Hickman, George Hill, Andre Hiyung, Clive Hoey, Gisela Hofman, Jason Hogan, Diane Holly, Bob Holotnak, Jace Holton, Jens Hoppe, Chris Hunt, Katrina Imburgia, Amanda Jacobs, Richard Jadaszewski, Amber Jameson, Brad Johnson, Sharon Johnson, Todd Johnson, Wofford Jones, José Jorge Garcia, Laura Joy, Gabriele Kahn, Apu Kapadia, Spencer Kapp, Malin Karlsson, Pat Karnosh, Alex Katz, Clark Kelsey, Lindsey Kendrick, Rosemary Kennedy, Bill Kennesaw, Gene Keyes, Khadijah Khan, Jan Kiezebrink, Danielle Klein, Eda Kobzan, Susan Kotecki, Joe Kowalczyk, Pawel Kowalski, Jan Krabbendam, Nataliya Kugel, Robert Kuhlemann, Catherine Kusske, Julia Lamberton, Andris Lanka, Andris Lanka, Martin LaSerre, David Lasser, Sharlei Lausen, Cyndi Lee, Mei Lee, Troy Lehan, Carole Leita, Peter Leonard, Martin Lipka, Carolyn Livingston, Christina Longest, Gary Lord, Mykle Love, Greg Lovelace, Erich Lutz, Claudia Lynch, Nick Malone, Courtney Manas, Nur Asyura Mansor, Arlene Marcas, Sophia Marea, Vic Martin, Emmanuel Martins, Aleisa McCart, Tim McCauley, Janet McConnaughey, Steve McFarland, Heather McGuire, Ted Meland, Cosmas Mexis, J. Meyer, Rachel Miller, Gary Mocko, Bill Momsen, Don Monson, Tim Moran, Brian Morefield, Mark Morgan, Kitty Morrow, Scott and Natalia Munson, Christian Murphy, Sharon Murphy, Arnold Musolf, Derek Nakata, Anna Naumova, Maidena Navratil, Ed Nazarko, Claire Neil, Lirim Neziroski, Anthony Nichols, Andrea Normile, Brendan O Se, Cian O' Brien, Colleen O'Connor, Robert O'Connor, Kristin O'Hara, K.C. O'Leary, Daniel Ontell, Doug Ordunio, Meredith Ottoson, Kemal Özden, Angie Palange, Nicole Palmer, Jorge Pardo, Peter Parisi, Krupa Patel, Kevin Paul, Norman Perry, Jim Pettey, Jody Phelps, Marlene Pico, John F. Potter, John Quinn, Jennifer R., Priya Rajan, Adam Ramsey, David Ramsey, Angela Rangel, Jane Rauschenberg, Micah Rennels, Christine Reynolds, Sharon Richmond, Amber Ricker, Rob Rightmire, Carla Roach, David Rodriguez, Eduardo Rodriguez, Jason Roe, Craig Rowland, Tim Roy, Reiner Sahm, Eric Saindon, Adam Sampson, Leonard Sandin, Lyndsey Savitt, Anne Jelle Schilstra, Stuart Schleuse, Simon Schoar, Josef Schumacher, Dan Schwartz, Whitney Scott, David Scriven, Mike Scullin, Debi Seft, Brenda Seher, Alapon Sen, Abhimanyu Seth, Terry Shampo, Elsie Shamu, Christopher Shannon, Jesse Sharrard, Nathan Shields, Bill Shore, James Shryack, Jacob Siehler, Lisyen & asiu Sien, Henry Silvia, Rita Simons, Neville Sisson, Adam Smith, James Smith, Kevin Smith, Robert Smith, Susan Smith, Shubert Somer, Sonja Sonier, Zdenko Sperac, Victor Spetalnick, Diane Spunaugle, Prabhu Srinivas, Buddy Stacy, Craig Staley, Anita Stapen, Loring Starr, Bonnie Starrett, Carol Stephenson, Timothy Stewart, Jason T., Erica Tatel, Stephanie Taylor, Meg Thompson, Beth Tichborne, Abdelaziz Tifouti, Andrea Tinney, Daphne Toombs, Andrea Townsend, Dieter Train, Aaron Trauger, Eric Truelsen, Tore Tunold, Mandy Tye, Nick Tyree, Ivan Uemlianin, Steve Uptegraft, Olga Uzun, Hasnain Valli, Tony Valuch, Alexander Valverde, Annchen van Heerden, Tasneem Vasowalla, Joseph Vespa, Caroline Villareal, Kelly Villareal, Jennifer Viola, Bruce Walker, Steve Walsh, Jae Ward, Kenneth Warthen, Nigel Wasser, Mary Watson, Graham Weeks, Briana Weinert, Raymond Weisling, Dave Wells, Rick Whitaker, Livingston White, Mandy Whiteley, Ann Whittemore, Danny Wier, B. Wilchowy, Richard Williams, Rui Wippel, Chris Woodcock, Erin Woolls, Tracy

Santé n'est pas sans t, mais maladie est sans t.

3

Les chaussettes de l'archiduchesse sont-elles sèches?
Archi-sèches!

4

L'Arabe Ali est mort au lit.
Moralité: Maure Ali, t'es mort alité.

5

Où niche la pie? La pie niche haut.
Où niche l'oie? L'oie niche bas.
Où niche l'hibou? L'hibou niche ni haut ni bas !

6

Mon père est maire, mon frère est masseur.

7

Ces cerises sont si sûres qu'on ne sait pas si c'en sont.

8

Gros gras grand grain d'orge, tout gros-gras-grand-grain-d'orgerisé, quand te dé-gros-gras-grand-grain-d'orgeriseras-tu? Je me dé-gros-gras-grand-grain-d'orgeriserai quand tous les gros gras grands grains d'orge se seront dé-gros-gras-grand-grain-d'orgerisés.

9

Un dragon gradé dégrade un gradé dragon.

10

Tes laitues naissent-elles ? Si tes laitues naissent, mes laitues naîtront.

11

Le blé s'moud-il ? L'habit s'coud-il?
Oui l'blé s'moud, l'habit s'coud.

12

Pauvre petit pêcheur, prend patience pour pouvoir prendre plusieurs petits poissons.

13

Dans la gendarmerie, quand un gendarme rit, tous les gendarmes rient dans la gendarmerie.

14

Pourquoi les alliés ne se désolidariseraient-ils pas.

from Belgium

15

Rat vit riz,
Rat mit patte à ras,
Rat mit patte à riz,
Riz cuit patte à rat.

16

Cette taxe fixe excessive est fixée exprès à AIX par le fisc.

17

Cinq chiens chassent six chats.

18

Il était une fois, un homme de foi qui vendait du foie dans la ville de Foix. Il dit ma foi, c'est la dernière fois que je vends du foie dans la ville de Foix.

Foix est une ville dans le Pyrénées

19

Le général Joffrin nous dit: A Toul, ai perdu mon dentier.
En général j'offre un outil à tous les pères du monde entier.

Citation de Romain Bouteille dans "Des boulons dans mon Yaourt" au café de la Gare.

20

Pruneau cuit, pruneau cru, ...

21

Trois petites truites cuites
trois petites truites crues

22

Tu t'entêtes à tout tenter, tu t'uses et tu te tues à tant t'entêter.

23

Un pâtissier qui pâtissait chez un tapissier qui tapissait, dit un jour au tapissier qui tapissait: vaut-il mieux pâtisser chez un tapissier qui tapisse ou tapisser chez un pâtissier qui pâtisse?

24

Elle est partie avec tonton, ton Taine et ton thon.

25

Marcel porc tua. Sel n'y mit, vers s'y mit, porc gâta.

26

Il y a deux espèces de fous:
il y a les fous ronds, et les fous carrés.
les Fourons sont carrément fous,
et les fous carrés, ca c'est un cas Happart!

Mr. Happart étant un personnage bien connu de la commune belge "Fourons".

27

Tatie, ton thé t'a-t-il ôté ta toux,
disait la tortue au tatou.
Mais pas du tout, dit le tatou,
Je tousse tant que l'on m'entend
de Tahiti à Tombouctou.

28

Le poivre fait fièvre à la pauvre pieuvre.

by Pierre Abbat

29

Chez les papous, y'a des papous à poux, et des papous pas à poux... Mais chez les papous, y'a des papous papas et des papous pas papas... Donc chez les papous, y'a des papous papas à poux, des papous papas pas à poux... des papous pas papas à poux et des papous pas papas pas à poux... Mais chez les poux, y'a des poux papas et des poux pas papas... Donc chez les papous, y'a des papous papas à poux papas, des papous papas à poux pas papas, des papous pas papas à poux papas et des papous pas papas à poux pas papas.

dues à Franquin de un album de Gaston Lagaffe

30

Ces six saucissons-ci sont si secs qu'on ne sait si s'en sont.

31

C'est l'évadé du Nevada qui dévalait dans la vallée, dans la vallée du Nevada, qu'il dévalait pour s'évader, sur un vilain vélo volé, qu'il a volé dans une villa, et le valet qui fut volé vit l'évadé du Nevada qui dévalait dans la vallée, dans la vallée du Nevada, qu'il dévalait pour s'évader sur un vilain vélo volé.

heard on TV years ago, told by Sim, French comedian and actor.

32

Je dis que tu l'as dit à Didi ce que j'ai dit jeudi.

33

Ta Katie t'a quitté
Ta Katie t'a quitté
t'es cocu, qu'attends tu ?
Cuites toi, t'es cocu
T'as qu'à, t'as qu'à t' cuiter
Et quitter ton quartier
Ta Katie t'a quitté
Ta tactique était toc
Ta tactique était toc
Ta Katie t'a quitté.
...

by Boby Lapointe

34

Une bien grosse grasse mère avec de biens beaux gros gras bras blancs.

35

C'est pas beau mais tentant de tenter de tâter, de téter les tétons de tata quand tonton n'est pas là.

36

Suis-je bien chez ce cher Serge?

37

Si ces six cents six sangsues sont sur son sein sans sucer son sang, ces six cents six sangsues sont sans succès.

38

Ce ver vert sévère sait verser ses verres verts.

39

Les Autrichiens sont des autres chiens!

40

Si ma tata tâte ta tata,
ta tata sera tâtée.

41

Qu'à bu l'âne au quai? Au quai, l'âne a bu l'eau.

42

Trois tortues trottaient sur un trottoir très étroit.

43

Les vers verts levèrent le verre vert vers le ver vert.

44

Quand un cordier cordant doit accorder sa corde,
Pour sa corde accorder six cordons il accorde,
Mais si l'un des cordons de la corde décorde,
Le cordon décordé fait décorder la corde,
Que le cordier cordant avait mal accordée.

45

Si six cent scies scient six cent saucisses,
six cent six scies scieront six cent six saucissons

46

Son chat chante sa chanson.

47

As tu été à Tahiti?

48

Un généreux déjeuner régénérerait des généraux dégénérés.

49

Seize jacinthes sèchent dans seize sachets secs.

50

Le fisc fixe exprès chaque taxe fixe excessive exclusivement au luxe et à l'acquis.

51

L'abeille coule, l'abeille coule, l'abeille coule, ...

52

La triste aventure de Coco le concasseur de cacao

Coco, le concasseur de cacao, courtisait Kiki la cocotte. Kiki la cocotte convoitait un caraco kaki à col de caracul; mais Coco, le concasseur de cacao, ne pouvait offrir à Kiki la cocotte qu'un caraco kaki sans col de caracul. Le jour où Coco, le concasseur de cacao, vit que Kiki la cocotte arborait un caraco kaki à col de caracul il comprit qu'il était cocu.

extrait d'un sketch de Bernard Haller

53

Zazie causait avec sa cousine en cousant.

54

Un chasseur sachant chasser sait chasser sans son chien de chasse.

55

Un taxi attaque six taxis.

56

Tentas-tu, Tantale, tremper ta langue?

by Pierre Abbat

57

Cinq gros rats grillent dans la grosse graisse grasse.

58

Poisson sans boisson, c'est poison!

You should always have wine when you eat fish!

59

Chouette chaussures!

60

Tetramethyldiparadiaminobenzophenol, vous vaudrez désormais 200 francs le kilo, car monsieur Millerand veut que tel soit le lot de tous les noirs anthraquinones.

Petite phrase apprise il y a 25 ans dans un camp de vacances,
d'un docteur en biologie marine alors a la retraite,
aujourd'hui décédé. Je ne l'ai jamais oublie. Hélène Dufour

61

Si ça se passe ainsi, c'est sans souci.

62

Gal, amant de la reine, alla, tour magnanime,
galamment de l'arène à la tour Magne à Nîmes.

63

Tas de riz, tas de rats.
Tas de riz tentant, tas de rats tentés.
Tas de riz tentant tenta tas de rats tentés.
Tas de rats tentés tâta tas de riz tentant.

64

Chat vit rôt
rôt tenta chat
chat mit patte à rôt
rôt brûla patte à chat
chat quitta rôt.

65

As-tu vu le tutu de tulle de Lili d'Honolulu?

66

Ta tante t'attend.
- J'ai tant de tantes. Quelle tante m'attend?
- Ta tante Antoinette t'attend.

67

La pipe au papa du Pape Pie pue.

by Jacques Prévert

68

Dans ta tente ta tante t'attend.

69

Ces Basques se passent ce casque et ce masque jusqu'à ce que ce masque et ce casque se cassent.

by Pierre Abbat

70

La cavale aux Valaques avala l'eau du lac et l'eau du lac lava la cavale aux Valaques.

71

Six saucisses sèches

72

Lulu lit la lettre lue à Lili et Lola alla à Lille où Lala lie le lilas.

73

Des blancs pains, des bancs peints, des bains pleins.

74

Mur pourrit, trou s'y fit, rat s'y mit; chat l'y vit, rat s'enfuit; chat suivit, rat fut pris.

75

La roue sur la rue roule; la rue sous la roue reste.

by Pierre Abbat

76

Je veux et j'exige d'exquises excuses.

77

Ciel, si ceci se sait ces soins sont sans succès.

78

L'assassin sur son sein suçait son sang sans cesse.

79

Tonton, ton thé t'a-t-il ôté ta toux?

80

Petit pot de beurre, quand te dépetitpotdebeurreriseras-tu?
Je me dépetitpotdebeurreriserai quand tu te dépetitpotdebeurreriseras.

81

Je veux et j'exige; j'exige et je veux.

82

Un vieux chasseur sobre plein de santé, mais atteint de cécité, chaussé de souliers souillés, sans cigare, fut dans la nécessité de chasser seul sur ces champs sis en Sicile un sinistre chat sauvage. Il siffla ses chiens, Châtain, Satin, Chauvin et suivit son chemin. Sur son passage, six chastes chérubins siciliens, sans soucis, sans chaussures, chuchotèrent ceci: Salut, Sire chasseur, citoyen sage et plein d'âge, aux yeux chassieux, au sang chaud, sois chanceux! Sache en ce jour serein, sans chagrin ....

by the popular Belgian singer Julos Beaucarne

83

Didon dîna, dit-on, du dos d'une dinde, don d'un don du Doubs, à qui Didon a dit: Donne, donc, don, du dos d'une dinde.

84

Trois gros rats gris dans trois gros trous ronds rongent trois gros croûtons ronds.

85

J'ai vu six sots suçant six cent six saucisses, six en sauce et six cents sans sauce.

86

La grosse cloche sonne.

87

Douze douches douces.

88

Si six cents couteaux-scies scient, en six, six cent six saucisses, la cuisine est sale.

89

Pierre qui roule n'amasse pas mousse.

90

Si ton tonton tond ton tonton,
ton tonton sera tondu par ton tonton.

91

Sachez, mon cher Sasha, que Natasha n'attacha pas son chat!

92

Papier, panier, piano.

93

Cinq pères capucins, sains de corps et sains d'esprit, le corps ceint d'une ceinture, portaient sur leur sein le sous-seing des saints capucins.

94

Seize chaises sèchent.

95

La robe rouge de Rosalie est ravissante.

96

Si ces six cent six sangsues sont sans sucer son sang, ces six cent six sangsues sont sans succès.

97

Le python de la pythonisse a sucé du bois de réglisse.
Il est lisse comme un trombone à coulisse lisse et le python de la pythonisse de tristesse se rapetisse;
il n'est plus en Suisse qu'un piteux piton d'alpiniste chez un droguiste.

98

Si six scies scient six cyprès,
six cent six scies scient six cent six cyprès.

99

Etant sorti sans parapluie,
il m'eût plus plu qu'il plût plus tôt.

100

Même maman m'a mis ma main dans mon manchon.

101

Ce chasseur sait chasser sans son chien dit le sage garde-chasse, chasseur sachez chasser sans chien!

102

Fait faire à Fabien fourbe et fautif force farces fausses et fantasques.

103

Fruits frais, fruits frits, fruits cuits, fruits crus.

104

Le ver vert va vers le verre vert.

105

Piano, panier, panier, piano.

106

Vends vestons, vestes et vareuses vieilles et vétustes.

107

Madame Coutufon dit à madame Foncoutu:
- Bonjour, madame Foncoutu! Y a-t-il beaucoup de Foncoutu à Coutufon?
- Il y a autant de Foncoutu à Coutufon qu'il y a de Coutufons à Foncoutu.

108

Poche plate plate poche.

109

La sole a salé son lit mais la mer a lavé le lit que la sole a salé et la sole rissole dans la casserole.

110

Juste juge jugez Gilles jeune et jaloux.

111

Nino n'a ni nappe ni nippe et ne nettoie nylon ni linon.

112

Ecartons ton carton car ton carton nous gêne.

113

Didon dîna, dit-on, du dos d'un dodu dindon, don dû d'un don, à qui Didon dit: Donne, donc, don, du dos d'un dindon dodu.

114

Jésus loge chez Zachée, chez Zachée loge Jésus.

115

Zaza zézaie, Zizi zozote.

116

Un chasseur sachant chasser chassait sans son chien de chasse.

117

Que c'est crevant de voir crever une crevette sur la cravate d'un homme crevé dans une crevasse.

118

Une bête noire se baigne dans une baignoire noire.

119

Un chasseur qui chassait fit sécher ses chaussettes sur une souche sèche.

120

Un plein plat de blé pilé

121

Un ange qui songeait à changer de visage se trouva soudain si changé que jamais plus ange ne songea à se change.

122

Le chasseur, sachant chasser sans son chien, chassera seul.

123

Lily lit le livre dans le lit.

124

Qu'a bu l'âne au lac? L'âne au lac a bu l'eau.

125

Six jeunes gens juchés sur six chaises chuchotaient ceci: sage chasseur au front chauve, au sang chaud, aux yeux chassieux, sachez chasser le chat chauve qui se cache sous la chiche souche de sauge séchée.

126

Croix crème, croix crème, croix crème ...

127

C'est trop tard pour le tram trente-trois.

by Jacques Brel

128

Trois tortues têtus trottent en trottinette.

129

Si c'est rond c'est point carré.

Cicéron c'est Poincaré

130

T'as ton tacot qu'a la cote, cocotte!
Qu'attend ton tacot qu'a la cote?
Mon tacot qu'a la cote attend dans la côte que l'accostent des cocottes. Et toc!

131

Les chemises de l'archiduchesse sont-elles sèches ou archi-sèches?

132

Le kitsch tchèque choque, sauf s'il est chic.

133

Je cherche Serge.

134

Buvons un coup ma serpette est perdue, mais le manche, mais le manche ...
Buvons un coup ma serpette est perdue, mais le manche est revenu!

children's song: You are supposed to change the vowels to "a", then "e", "i", "o" and so on.

135

Tata, ta tarte tatin tenta Tonton; Tonton tâta ta tarte tatin, Tata.

136

Sieur, le censeur, sans cesse sur son séant, s'assied seul sans souci sur son seau.

by Philippe Thiaudière

137

Toto t'as tort, tu t'uses et tu te tues en t'entêtant; crois-moi, Toto tu t'entêtes et j'te dis qu't'as tort.

138

Paul se pèle au pôle dans sa pile de pulls et polos pâles. Pas plus d'appel de la poule à l'Opel que d'opale dans la pelle à Paul.

139

La pie niche en haut,
L'oie niche en bas,
L'hibou niche ni haut ni bas.

140

Ah! pourquoi Pépita sans répit m'épies tu,
dans le puits Pépita pourquoi te tapis-tu ?
Tu m'épies sans pitié, c'est piteux de m'épier,
De m'épier Pépita ne peux tu te passer ?

from a song

141

Le cricri de la crique cri son cri cru et critique car il craint que l'escroc ne le croque et ne le craque.
Mais un espadon a dédé donna dudule d'un don si dou donné fit son dada qu'il garda.

142

Un ananas n'as ni nid ni ninas.

143

Dinon dina, dit-on, du dos dodu d'un dodu dindon du don, et dit; dit donc c'est bon le dos dodu d'un dodu dindon du Don.

144

Si tu te tues, tu te tues.

145

- L'oie niche bas, la pie niche haut: où niche l'hibou?
- l'hibou niche ni haut ni bas.

146

La caille couve au coin du pont, au coin du pont couve la caille, ...

147

Six fûts, six caisses: la main entre les caisses, le doigt dans le trou du fût.
Six fûts, six caisses: le doigt dans le trou du fût, la main entre les caisses.

148

Comté, Comté, Comté, ...

149

Oh! Le sale! Oh! Le sale! Oh! Le sale! ...

150

Et si la cathédrale se décathédralisait comment la recathédraliserions-nous?

151

Un pécheur péchait sous un pêcher,
le pêcher empêchait le pécheur de pécher,
le pécheur coupa le pêcher,
le pêcher n'empêcha plus le pécheur de pécher.

152

Bonjour madame la saucissière,
combien vendez vous ces six saucisses la?
Je les vends six sous,
six sous ci,
six sous ça,
six sous ces six saucisses la.

153

Natacha, n'attacha pas son chat Pacha qui s'échappa. Cela fâcha Sacha qui chassa Natacha.

154

Ces cyprès sont si loin qu'on ne sait si c'en sont!

155

Ane et vers et taupe ont ils os? âne à os vers non, taupe si.

156

Au pied d'la panne la cane y pond, au pied du pond le canard y couv'

157

- Bonjour Madame Sans-Souci. Combien sont ces soucis-ci?
- Six sous, ces soucis-ci.
- Six sous?! C'est trop cher, Madame Sans-Souci.

158

Si ces six scies-ci scient si bien ce cyprès-ci, ces six scies-ci scieront ces six cents cyprès-ci.

159

Rat vit rot
rôt tenta rat
rat mit patte à rôt
rôt brula patte à rat
rat secoua patte et quitta rôt.

160

Si ton bec aime mon bec
comme mon bec aime ton bec,
donne-moi le plus gros bec
de la Province de Québec!

161

J'ai vu six cent Suisses sucant six cent six saucisses dont six en sauce et six cent sans sauce

162

Kiki était cocotte, et koko concasseur de cacao. Kiki la cocotte aimait beaucoup koko le concasseur de cacao. Or un marquis caracolant et cacochyme, conquit par les coquins quinquets de kiki la cocotte, offrit à kiki la cocotte un coquet caraco kaki à col de caracul. Quand koko le concasseur de cacao apprit que kiki la cocotte avait reçu du marquis caracolant caduque et cacochyme un coquet caraco à col de caracul, koko le concasseur de cacao conclu: je clos mon caquet, je suis cocu!

extrait d'un sketch de Bernard Haller

163

Latte ôtée, trou au toit.
Latte remise, trou y'a plus.

164

Dix verres six tasses, lait gâté pot en terre.

diversitas legate potenter" en latin de cuisine

165

Le dandy dodelinant dodeline de la tête devant le dindon dodu.

166

le mur murant Paris rend Paris murmurant"

from Victor Hugo

167

Le vif vert filait vite sur un fil de fer vert.
Le vert fil de fer vit filer le vilain vert de terre.

composition de Isabelle Payri-Lamarche

168

J'mouille mes coudes,
mes coudes s'mouillent,
est-ce que j'mouille mes coudes?
J'mouille mes coudes,
mes coudes s'mouillent,
saurais-tu le dire?

from Québec, Canada

169

Verre plein je te bois, verre vide je te plains.

170

Il avait été attentif à la pathétique tentative d’attentat contre la tante du potentat des Hottentots.

171

Jésus soupa chez Zachée.

172

Temps passa, mur usa, creux s'y fit, rat s'y mit; chat l'y vit, rat s'enfuit; chat suivit, rat fut pris.

173

Que lit Lili sous ce lila là? Lili lit l'Iliade.

174

En sont-ce dit Samson?
C'en sont dit Dalida.

175

Graffiti graffe une graffe grâce à un aggraffeur.

176

Un gros porc dors au bords le beau port du Bordeaux.

177

Bonjour madam Sans-Soucis! Combien sont ces saucissons-ci? Ces saucissons ci sont six cent six sous. Si ces saucissons ci sont six cent six sous, ces sausissons ci sont six cent six sous trop cher!

178

Le pervers père de Pierre perd son imper vert.

dans un sketch de François Peyrusse

179

Trois sorcières Suisses regardent trois montres Suisses "Swatch".
Quelle sorcière Suisse regarde quelle montre Suisse "Swatch"?

180

Cinq cents saints sans sang sont sains sans soin.

181

Jésus git et songe chez Zachée.

182

Il n'y a plus d'hélice hélas, c'est là qu'est l'os.

from the comedy La Grande Vadrouille with Bourvil and Louis de Funès

183

Jésus mangeait des choux chez Zachée. Sachez que c'est chez Zachée que Jésus mangeait des choux.

184

Natacha chassa son chat Pacha. Cela facha Sacha qui chassa Natacha.

185

Je regardais mes zouaves chasser le zèbre et le zébu avec la zagaie que l'on voit appuyée au bord de l'image. Zélateur de Zarathoustra, je vivrais là loin des zoïles, loin des zizanies, des zéros, du zona, des zincs et des zozotants zoographes, le poing sur mon zygoma, perdu dans la contemplation du zénith ou du zodiaque, tel un innocent zoophyte. Ainsi jusqu'au zigzag suprême et jusqu'au zut définitif.

from a book by Georges Duhamel

186

Trente trois très gros crapauds gris tigrés dans trente trois très gros trous très creux.

amsi

Sunday, June 24, 2012

LAUGH ALOUD! ....................... FUNNY PICS

FREED0M

QUOTES ON TRUST

tongue twisters in french

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